Sunday, June 13, 2010
My New Best Friend, by Oliver Sledgehammer Juggernaut Ceccarelli
Being a dog can be rough. Sure, we get to sleep most of the day away and we don't have to keep a job. But when your every waking moment is dominated by a hunger so fierce you could eat four bags of beef jerky and a half a box of goldfish, not having money or opposable thumbs can be a real pain. That's why I'm sure happy to have my new best friend Olivia hanging out at my house so often!
Now I won't lie - when Livi first started coming around, I was skeptical. She didn't throw my ball, play tug-o-war with my hedgehogs, or give me belly rubs. I mean, she didn't even eat real food. The first time my dad tried to get me to clean up her "food", I was so excited I had three mouthfuls down before I realized I was eating this nasty chicken flavored apple-sauce mush.
And if high chair cleanup duty wasn't bad enough when Olivia started hanging out with us, she always wanted to poke me and slobber on me. Now, she chases me around the house trying to put my harness on me to go for walks! Escaping her grasp is exhausting, let me tell you. I guess I do like getting to go on so many walks though, even if Olivia insists on touching all the plants and rocks I find instead of finding her own. And she sure does walk a lot slower than my dad, which is great because it gives me plenty of time to mark trees and bushes on our walks!
The food is a lot better now than it used to be too. Olivia and I get to eat all kinds of great stuff, like cheese, and crackers, and salami, and chicken, and tacos and tons of other awesome things! And now that Livi is older, she's become much more mature. She used to be kind of selfish and I would only get to eat things she accidentally dropped on the ground. Now, Livi always makes sure to share plenty of her meals with me, even the good stuff like pepperoni.
And after we finish eating, Livi gives me the best belly rubs. Sometimes she tries to pick me up and carry me around the house, but I'm too heavy. I mean, I'm a pretty big, muscular dog, so it shouldn't surprise you that she can't pick me up yet. I always act disappointed, but secretly I'm not. I'm fairly certain that she would drop me as soon as something shiny caught her attention.
Anyway, tomorrow my new best friend Olivia and I are going to play together. She used to be a real pain, but now she's pretty much the coolest. I just love my new best friend Olivia so much that I can't stop thinking about what we might have for lunch tomorrow!